Monday, July 8, 2013

forwards and backwards


It’s the halfway point. From where I stand, I can look back and see one month accomplished and look ahead and see one month waiting to unfold. It’s an exciting, daunting, anxious place to be.

 

My first month here wasn’t easy. I dealt with illness that didn’t want to budge, homesickness that tugged at my heart, and new experiences, both exhilarating and unpleasant. The heat here is sweltering, the smells sometimes nauseating, and the language barrier frustrating. At times I am lonely, yet I find myself craving quiet time to reflect, think, comprehend.

 

But if I stop there…that’s only half the story. Even though I often feel like I haven’t always been on my A-game here, I have to remind myself that I haven’t done that terribly, either. Despite speaking different languages, I’ve managed to make friends with the Daughters. I’ve tried new things, and I have a whole lot of stories.  

 

I just returned from our mid-trip retreat in Siem Reap. The intentional break from normal life allowed me the chance to look back and look ahead; to see where I’ve triumphed and where I’ve fallen flat. I can set realistic goals for the month ahead because I now know what to expect.

 

I want to bond with my host family and become an active participant in home life, rather than remaining awkwardly on the outskirts. I want to see the places where the Daughters come from and try to get my head around the trafficking that happens all too often here. I want to get over my aversion to rice (after throwing it up so many times, I’ve lost an appetite for rice and sometimes even seeing it can make me feel slightly nauseous). And I want to write about all of this, the ups and the downs, in a compelling, relatable way.

 

I think I have more than enough to keep me busy for the next few weeks. And before you know it, I’ll be boarding a plane headed for home.

 

But for now I’m headed for a shower. I just jump roped with the kids, and though the afternoon rain cooled the air considerably, I’m still somehow (as always) dripping with sweat.  

 

 

P.S. We visited the ancient temples of Angkor Wat a few days ago so I’ll be posting some pictures from that in the next day or two.

 

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